NOBODY EVER DID SOMETHING REAL FOR ME

(BY PATRÍCIA EVANS * TRANSLATED BY LAURENCE BERNSTEIN)

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This year a lot of people I knew died
Filipi was 30 when he died
then the other Felipe
who was 17
my uncle who was 59
and yesterday, Dione, she was 24
Suddenly death has become a routine
(well, death is a daily thing)
but the fact is that they lived and died
and I didn't make any difference
I have been changing no one's life
In fact, nobody has done something because of me
or has made a decision
based on something I've said
or has taken another way
after reading my poems
Everyone has understood
what I've wanted to mean
what I have written
all the things I have done
and yet nothing of me has made the smallest difference
Nobody stopped to dare
in front of any idea of mine
nor even moved a finger
because of one of my theories
I didn't change even one day
of the lives of these now dead
nor the lives of who are still alive
these who come to my home
who talk to me on the phone
sit with me in my car
have lunch on my table
those who say that they love me
those I deeply love
None of these people
has become another one
has taken me as an example
or has used me as a muse
And if I am not worth a quotation mark
If I am not worth maybe a sigh
in someone's, in anyone's life
why not give the days I still have
to the next dead of the list
since to keep me alive
has been such a stupid waste.

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